Marie and I no longer trust each other. We adopted this new posture a few years ago and it might not mean what you think. I want my boss to trust me. I want the authorities to trust me, police, IRS, and rest of the government. I want those people to trust me because I don't want intimacy with them. Marie and I define trust as the opposite of intimacy. In it's proper context,trust is a good thing for sure, but it is not the main goal of our marriage.
Our goal is intimacy and safety for one another. I want to have Marie involved in every area of my life. I want to resolve conflict in healthy ways instead of sweeping things under the rug. Marie knows every weakness I have and I know about hers. At first glance such intimacy might seem intrusive and restricting. However I find that the closer I am to Marie makes me stronger and "free-er" than when I'm trying to do things on my own. No secrets. Real freedom.